My brother recently did some puppeteering work on this music video. Nothing to do with anything, but I think it’s cool so I’m sharing. Go bro!

(It’s the Grayboy Allstars “Still Waiting” video, btw.)

I just got word that the workshop I’m presenting with my good friend Emma Clair at the RWA national conference in San Francisco has been scheduled. Hooray! Our talk is on “Creating a Web Presence.” We’ll discuss how to set up a site of your own and what’s necessary at each stage of your writing career - when you’re first starting out, as you begin submitting to agents and editors, and of course post-publication. Both Emma and I are looking forward to answering everyone’s questions. We’ve given this talk twice now and the audience interaction is our favorite part.

So, drumroll…. our talk is currently scheduled for Friday, August 1, from 2-3pm. I hope to see you there!

I’ve only watched this once and I’m sure there are plenty of peeps out there dissecting it for its political import and savviness. What interested me was how watchable this speech feels in comparison to others I’ve seen in my lifetime.

I thought I was going to see a rebuttal: Obama proving he had nothing to do with his pastor’s inflammatory statements. But this isn’t a politician’s speech; it’s a statesman’s, a masterful piece of speechwriting worth watching for its elegant patterns and escalating progression of thought. If you haven’t taken the time to see it, grab yourself 35 minutes and do so now. You can read the full text here.

Check this out - you can help with proofreading the books that are being prepared for Project Gutenberg’s free archives. The site isn’t the most intuitive I’ve ever used, but the satisfaction that comes from helping this noble effort is well worth the trouble.

Distributed Proofreading site

Project Gutenberg

Apparently Spanish royalty with a side helping of virgin bride is hawt. I found these two titles cozying up next to each other in my local supermarket and paused to record the moment.

Is virginity really that appealing? America says Ye$!

* LATE ADDITION *

While I was at the supermarket reeling under the combined weight of a Spanish duke and Spanish prince, this article from our pals at MSNBC discussing Americans’  love for virginity was - ahem - ripping around the interweb. I could say things, but won’t bother, as the ladies over at SmartBitches have said it all.

I love reading Reuter’s Oddly Enough column. (And A.P. News, when it comes to that. Sometimes it’s equally odd.) I find myself laughing out loud and semi-shocked at the real-life stories that seem ripped from the pages of a romance novel or film.

For instance, two machete-wielding robbers breaking into a club without realizing 50 bikers were meeting in a private room. One ended up hog-tied, the other leapt over a balcony and was chased down by the cops. Can you picture it? Balaclava-clad robbers burst into main room - shock, horror on patrons’ faces. Weeny bartender pokes head into private room: we’re being robbed! Cut to shot of fifty leather-clad bikers engaged in some Roberts-rules-of-order-type activity rising slowly from long benches, fists clenched. “Oh, yeah?” One thief flies over balcony, the other disappears in a pile of Man. But for real! It happened!

Or the 39-year-0ld man who dressed up in a school uniform and wig and tried to pass himself off as a Japanese schoolgirl, only to have all the little schoolgirls run shrieking from him everywhere he went. (I like to imagine they also flapped their little schoolgirl hands over their schoolgirl heads.) This guy didn’t stand a chance.

Who needs fiction? Honestly.

Get your definitions on. FreeRice.com.  My highest level so far is 50 but by god I’m not stopping until I hit 55. Even if that takes the rest of my natural life. Which it might.

Just before leaving my day job, I went down to our local wonderful bookstore-that-sells-tarot-decks, BookPeople, seeking out a new, you guessed it, tarot deck.

I didn’t really need one, but I wanted desperately to spend money.

It’s hard to take your time browsing the tarot decks, because they’re all locked in a glass case, and if you want to see anything other than the fronts of the boxes you have to pull over a busy salesperson who will open the case and wait, staring at you with a faux-cheerful “jesus christ if she looks at one more tarot deck I’m committing seppuku” twinkle in her eye.

So I didn’t take my time. She opened the case and just as the glass swung an inch past my nose I saw the a wonderful thing:

The Fantod Pack by Edward Gorey.

Instantly the theme for the PBS Mystery series popped into my head and I grabbed it. $9.95. Cheap for a tarot deck! I’d be able to buy something else, too! I hugged it between my breasts and thanked the blinking salesgirl and walked away.

Only after I’d reached the car, Fantod Pack and mandala coloring book in hand, did I realize what I’d really purchased. Not a tarot deck in the traditional sense, oh no. Something far, far better. A deck filled with Horrors! 20 cards, each unique to the Fantod Pack and each associated with its own list of Evils That May Befall My Characters. Instructions for reading the pack: “Stand in the center of a sparsely furnished room and close your eyes. Fling the pack into the air. Keep your eyes closed. Pick up five cards from the floor, keeping them in order.” And then lay them out and interpret them.

The cards are backed with a morbid drawing of a - thing - riding an ornately decorated unicycle, carrying above its head a serving tray holding a skull, hourglass and candle. Their fronts depict each subject in Gorey’s inimitable style. No Wheel of Fortune or Nine of Rods here, no thank you - these cards include such subjects as The Limb, The Effigy, The Insects, The Blue Dog, The Ladder and The Waltzing Mouse. And each has its own hint-list in the accompanying booklet. This is the hint-list for The Limb - the interpretation, of course, rests with the reader.

The Limb
February
miscarriage of justice
gapes
a forged snapshot
morbid sensations
a useless sacrifice
alopecia
a generalized calamity
broken promises
ignominy
an accident in a theatre
fugues
poverty

Delicious! MUAHAHAHA! If I’m ever stuck for something horrid to do to my characters, I now have a Plan. Who can resist a generalized calamity? And what character would ever want alopecia? I will never be too nice to my characters ever again.

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I love tarot. Astrology, numerology, I-Ching, you name it - I’m a sucker for all of it, but tarot is especially lovely. It has pictures! I got this site from my friend Nicole, who got it from our friend Catherine, who’s brilliant and knows her astrology - and, apparently, tarot. I like the card I got, and its warning is well founded. I definitely tend to let success go to my head. No matter how big or small or lasting or temporary, I bounce and swoon and thrill and generally enjoy the hell out of success. I always think I’ve done something no one else has done ever! and I truly believe I’ll be able to repeat whatever the success is indefinitely.

No matter how many times that proves not to be true.

Ah well. Eventually I hit the jackpot again and whizbang! my head lifts off my shoulders and floats grinning up into the stratosphere. I know I should stop the cycle, but hey… I’m the Wheel! Of! Fortune!

- Michelle, about to go successfully off to bed. She hopes. Must - shut - down - com.pu.ter…..

I miss my old friend Elma Foronda. I think this is her birthday. I can’t remember how many times I’ve tried to find her over the years, but I hope this is the year it actually works out and we get back in touch. Elma, are you out there? Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re happy and having a wonderful life!

Happy Birthday!

*** UPDATE *** Thank you all for your help and suggestions - I have found Elma! She’s doing well and we’re now back in touch. I love the internet!